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Why is it I do all the sweating but you do all the glistening?

May 27, 2010

Disclaimer: This post could get awkward.

Its hot out. Like, REAL hot out. I don’t remember it ever being this hot at the end of May. I do love it though, won’t lie. Unfortunately for me, my office is a fucking sauna. Every other room and hallway in my building is at least 10 degrees cooler. I can’t explain it.

Now since my office is apparently on the threshold of hell, I often wear either short sleeves and a skirt or a dress. Always work appropriate, mind you. Another thing that is quite unfortunate about my office, I have a huge leather desk chair that I am forced to sit in for 8.5-9.5 hours everyday.

So last Tuesday, it was like the hottest day known to man. My office, once again, was practically smoking. Now, I don’t sweat. I just don’t. I don’t know if its a genetic defect or what, but I don’t really sweat.

On Tuesday, I perspired. Not like sweating bullets or anything, but I got damp. Sticky if you will. I was wearing one of my favorite dresses I got at H&M a few years back. Its very sheer so I have to wear a slip underneath it, but its gorg. So I had a bunch of phone appointments, so I had to close my door so I could block out noise but also blocked out any chance of relief from my hellish office. After each half hour phone conversation, I had to stand up out of my chair because I could feel the back of my legs sticking to the leather. SO. GROSS. I can’t handle that stuff. Every time I stood up, I felt the back of my dress and it was like…damp. Not like WET or anything, but just damp. I didn’t really think anything of it. I did, however, leave my office after every appointment to get some air in the lobby.

At 7:15pm, my last appointment of the day ended. Relieved, I stood up and stretched. Sitting down all day and writing is tough, you know? I smoothed out my dress in the back and the front. Again, I felt the dampness. This time, I was REALLY grossed out. I yanked the back of my dress around so I could see it. I looked down and I saw that the damn part of my dress was SIGNIFICANTLY darker than the rest of my dress.

oh. my. god.

I ran to the bathroom so I could get a good look in the mirror. There it was. Two perfect leg marks on my dress. It looked like a peed myself. I had been walking around like this ALL DAY LONG. Not one person said anything. Not that I can blame them.

“Uh, Em? Why are you all wet?”

Yeah, maybe better that they didn’t. I don’t know how anyone could bring that up and not be awkward about it.

This is my life.

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